It's Never About What It's About

It's Never About What It's About is among the first books to deal with the strange predicament of people with AIDS who had braced themselves for death and now, thanks to protease inhibitors, are staying alive instead. True, the book is addressed to those with a serious condition and still facing early death, but underlying the advice on how to live at the edge and to accept yourself, finally, is an assumption that there's some breathing space. Death is no longer imminent. Here is a chance, say the authors, to "do the work of looking inside yourself." The insights that Krandall Kraus and Paul Borja, both HIV-positive, bring to this curious time of life are informed by Eastern philosophy, Jungian psychology, Campbell's studies of myth, and the classically American experience of therapy. Kraus, for example, explains how he tries to heal past injuries by comforting his inner child, the overweight and pimply 13-year-old Krandall Kraus.

These New Age homilies may be annoying to some, but bitter illumination can be found in the personal histories examined here. In one instance, Kraus recalls his distant and punishing father, who leafed through his son's second book, noting the dedication to himself, and pointed at the bookcase on the wall: "When you have enough of these to fill that bookcase," he said, "then you'll be a writer." Although especially relevant for people with AIDS and their caregivers, this book will help anyone with a serious illness organize their thoughts and gain clarity about what really matters to them. --review by Regina Marler